Authenticity Starts With Honoring Your True Self First
How to be your authentic self without succumbing to fear and influence.
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Just be yourself is a quote we hear often lately, but how? Here are some useful practices I have been using to stay true to my higher self in life.
The number of times I hear “be yourself, find your tribe” or words to that effect has become a constant.
We hear this from coaches, podcasters and various “gurus” who have seemingly made it in the popularity contest, signified by follower count and online views.
But the nagging questions and self-doubt always linger in the background. Who would be interested in what I have to share, or who am I to think I have anything important to say?Â
Finding peace and calm in a busy world.
The amygdala. The non rational primitive part of your brain triggered into fight / flight / freeze via the stress response.">Lizard Brain Is The Real Boss
The belief systems. You can train this by observing the beliefs that arise in situations.">inner critic is ever-present, an incessant chatterbox invading your inspirational thoughts.
Humans have survived for thousands of years in small communities. Someone looks out for bears, protecting the perimeters from invaders whereas other community members specialise in hunting for food to bring back to the tribe.
Our mammalian brains still want to share, to belong and to be part of a safe group. The amygdala or “amygdala. The non rational primitive part of your brain triggered into fight / flight / freeze via the stress response.">Lizard Brain” on the other hand is in charge of our fight or fight response. This is why we fear the unfamiliar, and we look to our peers for indications of safety or confirmation of danger and how to respond to the new thing that’s invaded our comfort zone.
In the modern world of Social media-created virtual tribes, we attack when anything new and perceivably a potent threat arrives. Fight. Or run into the arms of our tribe for safety. Flight.
It’s not logic necessarily that triggers these responses, it’s our primitive brain, the amygdala, that is driving the response.
Being Yourself = Potential Rejection
As much as we’d like to live an abundant carefree existence, the truth is that we must accept that the amygdala. The non rational primitive part of your brain triggered into fight / flight / freeze via the stress response.">lizard brain will always be on the lookout for danger. Even if no danger exists, you are well fed, have a home to sleep in and a car to travel to work in to pay your bills, the amygdala is alive and well.
Whilst the amygdala may not have to worry about bears invading your food cache or a lion eating your offspring, it is still on guard trying to convince you that anything outside “normal” is a threat.
It is your overprotective guardian, your mammalian brain wants to contribute to the community and simultaneously feather your own nest.
The Scarcity Abundance Conundrum
You may be able to see that there is a conflict – or paradox here. We unconsiously want two things at the same time. To be an important and valued “special” member of our tribe, and also to avoid being too different, so much so that we trigger an amygdalin response from one or more other tribe members.
What if our unique voice – the thing we want to be brave enough to share with our community gets ravaged because it’s triggering what someone’s amygdala recognizes as unfamiliar?
Does this remind you of Social Media to you yet? Or Youtube comments? These are perfect examples of the human-brain dichotomy at play.
Freedom In Understanding Our Human Paradox
Understanding and accepting these aspects of human behavior and why they exist gives us choice. Recognising these two opposing factions hardwired into our homo-sapien makeup helps to see that it is all there to help us, to guide and protect us.
The issue is that if it is uncontrolled and we are unaware of what drives our reactions, we are at the mercy of our environment. We are just reaction mechanisms waiting to be triggered.
This Is Where Your Power Lies
The phrase “owning it” can be an empowering statement! What this really translates to is: first recognize what is driving your response to something, and you can choose how to respond to it!
Giving yourself permission to take a moment, find the gap in between stimulus and response, and you buy yourself room to choose.
Practice watching for mental gaps daily, and you will cultivate calm.
Have you ever watched a podcast host being baited or confronted by a guest, and they take a pause, before responding? Cool as a cucumber as they say! This is the gap or GAP.
The art of getting into the gap is a very powerful skill to develop. Meditators know the gap well. In the stillness is ultimate power because you are no longer soley at the mercy of your environment.
You are owning your own self empowerment in the gap
The power of the gap is that it’s always accessible. It’s not about silencing the amygdala or eliminating fear—it’s about creating space to choose a better response. Cultivating this skill doesn’t require a massive overhaul of your life. It begins with small, intentional practices.
Imagine how you can develop new authenticity “muscles”, instead of reacting out of fear or instinct, you respond with intention. The gap becomes a refuge—a space to pause, breathe, and realign with your authentic self.
4 Ways To Grow The Confidence To Be Yourself
1. Authenticity Requires Understanding Your Inner Voice
Recognize the belief systems. You can train this by observing the beliefs that arise in situations.">inner critic (the “amygdala. The non rational primitive part of your brain triggered into fight / flight / freeze via the stress response.">lizard brain“) as a protective mechanism, not your true self.
Authenticity starts with identifying the difference between fear-based reactions and your genuine desires.
2. The Gap Is the Gateway to Authenticity
This space between stimulus and response allows you to choose actions that align with your values, not your fears. You can start to cultivate awareness around what is driving your response to your environment and the people in in.
Practice creating a gap to identify whether your reaction comes from a place of fear or authenticity.
3. Authenticity and the Scarcity-Abundance Mindset
The paradox of wanting to fit in while standing out is a very natural thing. But staying authentic means leaning into the question, where is this thought coming from and does what I am feeling, the emotion associated with it align with who I really am?
Authenticity thrives when you move past the fear of rejection and into a mindset of contribution and self-expression. People know when you are being truly authentic. Yes it takes courage to put yourself out there but it’s much easier to stay on your path when you are paying attention to your inner voice, not just the outer chatterbox.
4. Belonging Without Compromising Yourself
True belonging doesn’t require abandoning your authentic self. When you honor who you are, you really do attract the right people—your tribe.
The gap gives you the clarity to navigate social dynamics without betraying your authenticity.
5. Authenticity Is a Daily Practice
It takes practice to develop and widen the gap. It is not a single decision but a series of small choices to permit yourself to pause before you act, speak, and live in alignment with your higher self.
Mindfulness practices, like cultivating awareness of the gap, are essential tools for staying true to yourself in challenging situations.
6. Freedom in Embracing Vulnerability
Authenticity requires awareness more than courage—to share your voice, embrace imperfection, and let go of the need to control others’ responses. What they think is based on their own perspective, and what their amygdala or mammalian brain is telling them. Once you know this, you can be gentle with them when you want to be or decide to open some doors while navigating tribal behavior with new wisdom.
By staying mindful of your intentions and honoring your truth, you naturally embody your authentic self.
Practicing mindfulness and recognizing the spaces where you can change your responses are foundational tools for living authentically. This journey isn’t about perfection but about consistently making choices that reflect who you truly are.
If you are asking who am I really? The answer awaits you – your true self is waiting to meet you in the space in between what happens and your reaction to it.
To explore more about connecting with your authentic self, you can find insights and practices in the 21-Day Mindfulness Reset on Substack: 21-Day Mindfulness Reset. Our newsletter and 21 day mindfulness challenge is a gentle guide to discovering the calm and clarity within.